Beloveds:
Today marks 28 weeks I am with child; weight gain: plenty. The baby is moving a lot. It pushes extremely hard on my right side, I feel as though I could pass out. Now that I am officially into the third trimester, I am beginning to have delusions of how my labor and delivery will be. Allow me to entertain you with the vision of how I intend to choreograph the auspicious occasion...
Stage 1 - Labor
Lighting - dim
Music - classical and reminiscent of my ballet days, and the theme song from the movie 2010.
Mood - calm, yet anxious
Drugs - plenty
Stage 2 - Delivery
Lights - show time
Music - variety: Diana Ross, "I'm Coming Out;" Stevie Wonder, "Signed, Sealed, Delivered;" Gloria Gaynor, "I will Survive;" etc. I am taking suggestions, though I plan to have this baby out in 3 songs.
Mood - freaked out and spastic
Drugs - keep 'em comin'
Stage 3 - Post Delivery
Lighting - bright
Music - still working on the selection, but I do know "At Last" will be playing...
Mood - parched, I'd like a martini... extra dirty, please.
Drugs - are you kidding? Insurance is paying for this good stuff, keep 'em coming.
As with any production, I reserve the right to modify this work in progress. For your viewing pleasure, you can finally see the evolution of the pregnancy through week 24 below.
